Clear Enough?

Color Blind - affected with partial or total inability to distinguish one or more chromatic colors.

I am color blind. I see ONLY black, white, and a few shades of gray. When ever I look at other colors I try to compare it with black or white so I can try and guess what the color is. I once was able to see red and yellow but they left me over time. I hate to tell people that I'm color blind. Partly because it's a little embarrassing for me, but mostly because of the process that follows. It always happens the same way and in the same order. It makes me question the intelligence in others sometimes. Here's how it goes.

Stage One - I can't avoid it anymore and when I'm with a friend I tell the person that I am color blind. The person asks me if I'm lieing. I tell them that I am telling the truth.

Stage Two - The person decides to test me in case it's a trick. It's a dumb test but how else are they going to believe me? They point to an object and ask me what color it is. I always reply "I don't know" and then I guess a random color. Some how I seem to guess the correct color. It happens almost everytime and I don't understand how.

Stage Three - This is where my friend jumps in and assures the person that I am color blind. Then the person tries again this time with an article of clothing that I'm wearing. Obviously I'll get that right because I already asked someone else what color it is in advance. I explain this to the person. Then they ask what color are the clothes that they're wearing. I tell them "I don't know". Then I repeat the colors I can see over again.

Stage Four - I hate this stage the most. Once I repeat the colors I can see one more time they give me one last test before the process is complete. This last test is what makes me question the intelligence of others. They tell me to guess what color their clothes are.. Even today I have no idea why that makes any difference in their decision of whether or not I am telling the truth but everyone always tells me to guess. So I humor them and guess. Sometimes I get it right and they look at me like I'm a dog that just did a cool trick. Or when I get it wrong they look at me like they finally get that I'm not lieing. Either way the person has now accepted the fact that I am telling the truth. Hereby completing the process.

I find this process both stupid and pointless. I grow tired of jumping through the same hoops everytime I tell someone that I'm a little different. Now that I think about it, maybe I'm not really embaressed about my disability. Maybe it's the feeling that after I tell someone about it, for the next couple of minutes I become nothing more then their new science expirement.

Prince Charming Is Pathetic!!!

I have two friends that are smart, funny, beautiful women who I must say have had some of the worst luck when it comes to boyfriends. As they continued to list the countless stories of past boyfriends I started to wonder how they didn't have their Prince Charmings already. You know that myth that girls foolishly hope for? He's that guy that never says anything wrong, always loves you, and not that it should matter but he is unbelievably hot.

This made me think of the original Prince Charming from Disney's Cinderella. After thinking about it for a while I realized that Prince Charming isn't so great. Sure he saves Cinderella from her evil stepmother and stepsisters, and okay yeah he did only flirt with her at the ball. But I mean think about it. He sees a girl and she's beautiful and it's love at first sight. He dances with, talks to, and looks at only her the whole night. Yet he never thinks to ask her what her name is. Then when she leaves in a hurry and forgets her very rare glass slipper at the castle he keeps it. Then he comes up with a plan that only a men would find clever. He decides to have every woman in the entire kingdom try on this glass slipper and whoever it fits first is the woman he's supposed to be with. Then even though he is most likely the only person who saw her face and knows her voice -and oh yeah he's "in love" with her- he sends someone else to do it for him. Because he's just too busy doing nothing to go and find his true love.

Now I want to be clear on one thing I am now and forever will be a hopeless romantic. I'm all for that love at first sight, soul mates, together forever stuff. I just don't understand why we decided what Prince Charming did was anywhere near perfect or worth all the credit we give him. I think Prince Charming is pathetic and that women need to raise the bar just a little bit higher. I mean look at sleeping beauty's man Prince Philip. He faught an evil dragon for her. Prince Eric faught a huge octopus for Ariel and this was after he found out he was in love with a fish. Then there is the beast, -who didn't even get a real name- he risked his own life and saved Belle from scary wolves before he even really liked her.

Honestly I just wanted to say that I don't need a man that can fight evil dragons, huge octopuses, or scary wolves. I just want a man that would care enough to find me on his own instead of just sending someone to take care of it for him. Until then I think I'll find someone else other then so-called Prince Charming to wait for.

What Does It Really Mean?

I was reading a book and during a fight one character called the other a cakesniffer. This made me wonder, what is a cakesniffer? I mean seriously, what is it and how is it an insult let alone a good one?

I tried to think of possible definitions of this so-called insult. I came up with only a few believable ideas. Maybe a cakesniffer is what they call an apprentice to a baker, or it could be a name for a person who prefers pie to call someone who prefers cake.

Both of these guesses are highly possible but just didn't seem like they captured what the insult was trying to deliver. Then it hit me. Suddenly I felt as though I knew exactly what cakesniffer meant. Now even though I do not truly know its meaning I feel this is a valid attempt at its definition. I think that cakesniffer is a way of sugar coding an insult towards anorexics. I mean think about it. If all a cakesniffer does is sniff the cake and not eat it then wouldn't that be an anorexic? This brings up another question. If a cakesniffer really is an insult towards anorexics then wouldn't cake eater be an insult towards bulimic or even obese people or is it simply a name for people who enjoy eating cake?

Eventually I decided that if an insult takes this much thought to undertand then it really isn't a good one. So please just stick to the originals like moron, idiot, or stupid. There's a reason that they're still around.